So. The world is kind of going through a ruckus right now, isn’t it?

Personal life update: Most of you are probably aware, but as a vet tech, I’m still actively working. Pets need medical care, too! (And I still need to pay rent.) Fortunately, my clinic is taking extensive measures to protect clients and employees alike, so all things considered, I’ve managed to not… freak out that much.

Anyway, I want to maintain my regular activities as much as possible without going outside or taking social calls, so I figured I might as well post my monthly update. I’m hoping some of my thoughts on staying productive/focused during these times will be of help, but I am by no means saying people should feel pressured to churn out novels or maintain a 4.0 GPA. You’re not a lesser person for focusing on simply surviving this shit. You’re not a lesser person for not being able to work right now. Everyone deals with crisis differently, and worse still, everyone’s situation is different.

But for me, the manifestation of my anxiety is a disturbing fixation on being productive. Unfortunately, it’s been an incomprehensible sort of productivity—at my worst I start and stop projects in fits, become forgetful, hyperfixate in bursts, multitask irresponsibly, and generally make a mess of things. (Also, apparently, the volume of time I spend on Twitter increased by a factor of ten.) I’m

staying focused during troubled times

Blocking out the noise of the world is hard as shit right now, but if you’re like me and desperately want to get something done so you can feel alive again, here’s what I’ve been doing to get writing done during the day.

• Get off social media. It’s not the best source for news right now, and it’s consistently my biggest time-suck. I turn off my Wifi if I have to. Deleting apps/logging out of websites on my phone has also been helpful for both my head and my productivity.
• Carve out some space for yourself. Many right now are cooped up in tiny apartments with family members and roommates, and it can be hard to find a place to actually get work done. Do the best you can to clear off a desk, or stake out part of the couch or bed. Also, limit your sensory space—close the door to keep people out if you can, and put in noise cancelling headphones to block out the world for an hour or two. Picture a bubble. You are bubble boy.
• Get in the right headspace. Now more than ever, your mental health matters. The more anxious and frazzled and weird you feel, the less you’ll be able to do. Do whatever you need to calm yourself down. Drink tea, meditate, breathe, smoke, repress. Then try to hop to it.
• Make a list of tasks to accomplish. I swear by to do lists, and they’re coming in clutch for me now more than ever. My trick is to put the easiest items, like replying to emails, at the top and just make my way down. Accomplishing little things first really helps me get into the right mindset to tackle those tougher things later on. And my last item is usually something more involved but fun, like working on a book that’s just for me, or painting a personal piece.
• Just start. The point of all this elaborate set-up is to give myself no choice but to start fucking working. Sometimes the hardest thing is knocking out that first tiny item on the to-do list, or putting down the first sentence of the day. It’s fine if you’re really not feeling it and need to lie down, but if you know you’ll resent yourself later, just go. Start. Build the habit.

april goals

1. Stay as productive as I can for as long as I can. As you can probably tell right now, productivity is going to be a big theme for me in these upcoming days/weeks/months. I just know I’ll hate myself if I don’t accomplish at least one major goal.
2. GET OFF TWITTER. I know I said this last month, and I was actually pretty good about it! But then Twitter became my go-to time killer, and now I hate it again.
3. Exercise. I was bad about the gym before, but at least I walked or biked to class multiple times a day. Now I just sit at my desk, ruining my back and eyes while the devil laughs.
4. Keep on top of my daily schedule. I typed this up the hour my school announced it would be shutting down on-campus operations, and I’ve been trying to stick to it since. (It changes slightly on work days.) Some days are tougher than others, but hey, I woke up at 4 AM every day for two months when I was 16. I can do this.
   

march media

this month, i read

THUNDERHEAD by Neal Shusterman
⭑⭑⭑⭑⭑
Okay, so SCYTHE was good, but this? Whole new level. I went out and bought THE TOLL from my local indie immediately after. The characterization of the benevolent, godlike internet entity that watches over the world but is limited by its own programming is literally incredible. The computer has an ARC!!! It’s a CHARACTER!!

this month, i watched

Legion, Seasons 1 & 2
⭑⭑⭑⭑⭑
The first season of this show, specifically, changed my entire perspective on storytelling. It’s the kind of show that feels like a complete mess—right up until the moment everything abruptly comes together. Legion is also just delightfully, indescribably weird, and I love weird media because hell, I make weird media. This made me feel like I can dive fully into my own brand of weird and make something cool and bizarre while still telling a compelling, human story.

this month, i played

Spider-Man
PS4
⭑⭑⭑⭑½
I 1) don’t usually play video games and 2) are not very good at them, so take this review with a grain of salt. Anyway, I’ve been loving this game these past few days. To my deep embarrassment, I’ve been a Spider-Man fanboy since Tobey Maguire upside-down kissed Kirsten Dunst in the rain in God’s good year of 2002, and this game scratches so many itches. It’s got a gorgeously detailed open world AND a compelling main storyline, the characters are good, Peter is Peter, and the combat and swinging mechanics are actually a ton of fun. I actually choose swinging through the city over fast travel most of the time, it’s that satisfying.
(Unfortunately, the main conflict revolves around a bunch of Chinese criminals trying to release an infectious, airborne bioweapon in the city, so, uh. Maybe not the best game for the times.)

That’s all for this month! I hope everyone’s washing their hands, helping their friends and neighbours in need where they can, and practicing responsible social distancing. Stay safe, and I will see y’all next time.

xx

twitter: @sweater_giraffe